SITTING together on the sofa as their kids swarm in from school, Amanda and Clive Owen look the picture of a happy family.
But the sheep farming reality TV stars are no longer a couple and admit that, following a rocky break-up two years ago, they never expected to get on so amicably.
Our Yorkshire Farm star Amanda Owen opens up about her relationship[/caption]
Sheep farming reality TV stars, Amanda and Clive Owen, are no longer a couple, following a rocky break-up two years ago[/caption]
“We’re getting to a good place, but it’s been really hard,” says Amanda, 49.
“You won’t see us holding hands or skipping off into the sunset. We still bicker. We care about each other, but we’re not a couple.
“We have to get on with life because we have nine kids and animals to feed.
“I’m just glad we can sit together calmly because there was a time when we couldn’t have envisaged it.
“We’re still here today because of the honest admission of our own failings.
“Maybe we know more about each other now. I feel like I can talk openly and honestly to Clive in a way I couldn’t before.”
Their split might have come as a surprise to viewers of Channel 5’s Our Yorkshire Farm, but the former couple say it was a long time coming.
“I know people will talk about the pressures of television, but that’s nothing compared to the pressure of farming, bad weather and parenting nine children,” says Amanda.
“You’re on duty all the time, it is genuinely 24/7.
“We’ve always championed that we could weather any storm, but this was a storm on a different level, really.”
Clive, 68, adds: “It’s a sad situation, but it’s not unusual. It’s just unusual that ours was so public.”
When the Owens announced their separation in 2022, they mutually agreed to maintain a “dignified silence” about the end of their 22-year marriage.
But speculation soon started, with Amanda accused of infidelity after it was revealed she was dating web designer Robert Davies, 72.
Today, they insist that no one else was involved in their split, and Clive even suggested Rob would be a good match for Amanda.
‘Walking on eggshells’
Instead, on top of the extraordinary pressures of their rural life, Clive admits his resentment and jealousy of Amanda’s success, and their 19-year age difference, were key factors.
“There’s been a lot of gaps filled in by people that don’t know,” says Amanda.
“I was under the impression that ‘least said, soonest mended’ was better. But it didn’t work because the void was filled with made-up stories. It was a lot of pressure. It’s a difficult enough situation to navigate without that.”
Clive continues: “The trolls stepped in. People were saying such horrible — and wrong — things. I don’t do the internet, so it didn’t touch me like it did Amanda.
“Also, for some strange reason, I seemed to not get the blame, even though I was seeing other people, too. They’ve attacked Amanda more than me. I was really worried about her. She was in a place physically and mentally where sometimes I wondered whether she’d survive the night.”
Amanda admits being the subject of speculation takes its toll.
You don’t know who is talking about you. They’re not — but you imagine that they are. I wouldn’t meet anybody’s eye, I’d have my head down
Amanda Owen
She says: “People say green space and nature helps you heal your mental health. Not here it doesn’t. You just turn this over in your mind and it eats away at you. All the speculation makes you paranoid.
“You don’t know who is talking about you. They’re not — but you imagine that they are. I wouldn’t meet anybody’s eye, I’d have my head down.
“I’ve avoided the emails, texts and calls from some of my closest friends because I just didn’t want to talk about it any more. I was tired of regurgitating it.”
Amanda and her beloved horse[/caption]
Amanda, Clive and the kids on the new More4 series Our Farm Next Door[/caption]
Clive reveals he worried about the pressure Amanda was under. He explains: “She went within herself. It stopped her being what she is, which is absolutely brilliant and amazing. She’s a very talented woman. She needs to hold her head up and get out there.”
While the nation viewed the Owen clan as the epitome of wholesome, traditional family life, the pair say they never set out to be portrayed that way.
“We never put ourselves on any pedestal or said, ‘This is how you should live and bring up your children’,” says Amanda.
“We were making it up as we went along, doing our best to negotiate whatever troubles we came up against.
“But who wants to talk about their feelings? Who wants to go out there and say, ‘I’m really struggling, life isn’t rosy and Clive can be hard to live with?’.
“I just wanted to be everything to everybody — the best mum, the best farmer. It’s a lot. Something had to give.”
Amanda says providing security for their kids — Raven, Reuben, Miles, Edith, Violet, Sidney, Annas, Clementine and Nancy — was what drove her to write about their life at 2,000-acre farm Ravenseat in Swaledale.
But who wants to talk about their feelings? Who wants to go out there and say, ‘I’m really struggling, life isn’t rosy and Clive can be hard to live with?’
Amanda Owen
The success of her first book, The Yorkshire Shepherdess, in 2015 led to four more bestsellers, speaking engagements and five series of their fly-on-the-wall TV show, which they pulled the plug on because of their marital difficulties.
But Clive, who was 40 when he met a 21-year-old Amanda, says jealousy of her new career meant he was unsupportive and resentful.
“The age gap probably has been a factor, because I left school at 14 and was absolutely focused and devoted to what I wanted to be and do for years, which was farming,” he admits.
“When Amanda was doing the same thing, I didn’t handle it that well. I wasn’t as enthusiastic as I should be, because I’d got to my place where I needed to be. I should have changed.”
Amanda says she now understands his point of view, too, adding:
“Farming was on the slide but, weirdly, talking about farming and showing it on telly was on the up. I thought it was a no brainer. I didn’t expect Clive to be the breadwinner but, in hindsight, I can see why he might have felt a bit emasculated.
“I’d come back after an event and be walking on eggshells. I started to hide a part of myself and the gap widened.
“We did try, at one stage, for him to come along with me, but it wasn’t his scene. It wasn’t particularly my scene, but I was driven and thought I was doing the right thing. I hoped I’d make him proud.”
Clive says he “should have been proud”, but admits: “I read things wrong. Now I’m here to hold my hands up.
“I don’t regret doing the show. We were proud to showcase our way of life and it kept the wolf from the door.
“It was our decision to finish the show and get a bit of breathing space.”
Farming was on the slide but, weirdly, talking about farming and showing it on telly was on the up. I thought it was a no brainer. I didn’t expect Clive to be the breadwinner but, in hindsight, I can see why he might have felt a bit emasculated
Clive Owen
The pair say things escalated during lockdown, resulting in Amanda retreating to the holiday cottage on their farm to work on her writing and escape the arguing.
“There wasn’t a day when we sat down the kids and said, ‘Mummy and Daddy have split up’,” says Amanda.
“They knew we were arguing and there was tension. It just evolved — nobody packed their bags and moved out. Not much has changed for them, really.
“I just have two houses full of rubbish to tidy up.”
And she says of co-parenting their brood: “There’s never going to be a time when the kids are dropped off to spend a weekend with one parent.”
‘Trying to be happy’
Clive adds: “Whatever decisions we’ve taken, we made sure the kids were the priority. They’re amazing and we’ve found a way to make it work for us all.
“Our situation is not like other people’s as we live in this great vastness and can be together but apart, with the kids going between houses as they wish.
“Before, I was so blinkered and farming was everything to me. I didn’t spend as much time with the kids as I do now. Amanda was left to deal with them.”
Both are currently single, having each dated following the split, but Amanda’s relationship was the only one that gained column inches.
“We both saw other people. I knew about Clive’s girlfriend and we would tease each other,” she says.
At one point it was said I was being ‘comforted’ by a Channel 5 cameraman, which is completely untrue. I’d joke with the kids about my supposed fling, asking them which one it would be. I just get through it with humour, even though I might be crying inside
Amanda Owen
“There were never any secrets. We’ve been open and honest with the children, too.
“At one point it was said I was being ‘comforted’ by a Channel 5 cameraman, which is completely untrue. I’d joke with the kids about my supposed fling, asking them which one it would be. I just get through it with humour, even though I might be crying inside.”
Amanda says meeting a new man is the last thing on her mind these days.
“It’s just me and my horse now. I’m done, thank you very much,” she says.
“I need to regain my trust in humanity. I also refuse to be drawn into talking about Rob, because he’s a good guy and it’s not my place to speak for other people or point the finger. Clive and I chose to go into this reality TV world but others did not.”
They are returning to TV soon with a new show on More4 called Our Farm Next Door: Amanda, Clive and Kids, which sees them renovate a ruined farmhouse they bought.
Divorce is not on the cards and might only happen if one of them wanted to wed again. But for now they are content with the current situation.
“For now, we are just trying to be happy,” says Amanda. “I know where my priorities are. I love my life and what we do. We never said we were perfect or set ourselves up as role models. What is that anyway?
“If we are to be role models for the kids, we want to show them that you can overcome whatever life throws at you, the ups and the downs.”
