DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s flirty colleague is making me jealous and threatening my marriage.
But my husband is oblivious. He’s a silver fox, and I know a lot of women fancy him. But he claims not to notice that she fancies him, and thinks she’s just being friendly.
I’m 46 and my husband of 18 years is 47. His colleague is a young woman in her mid-20s.
A few months ago, my husband went to a work conference. In all the photos he showed me, I couldn’t help noticing a very attractive young lady.
I asked him about her and he said she’s a new member of his team.
I thought no more of it, until she started calling him on his mobile and messaging.
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When he works from home, she Zoom-calls him.
I can hear him laughing when he talks to her, and it drives me crazy.
He says it’s all completely innocent and they talk about work. He claims they’re just friends, she’s young enough to be his daughter, and she has a boyfriend so I have nothing to worry about.
But I don’t trust her. My husband is very handsome and fit for his age, and she must know he has money.
Why would a girl her age be friends with a man like my husband if she wasn’t interested in him?
There’s another conference again soon, and I feel sick at the thought of my husband and this woman being away together in a hotel.
What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: The way you feel says more about your own insecurities than it does about your husband’s relationship with his colleague.
He hasn’t hidden his interactions with her from you and he’s done nothing to suggest he’s been unfaithful or intends to be.
And you don’t really know she fancies him – you just assume she does. It’s unlikely a young woman her age would be interested in someone his age.
And as he says, she has a boyfriend. She probably just likes him and is learning from him.
Jealousy can be very destructive if it gets out of control. Read my support pack about this.
Talk to your husband and ask for reassurance. Make your relationship the best it can be.
See my support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, for more on how to do this.
