BOTH of the Menendez brothers have been married from prison while serving life sentences for shooting their parents to death in the wealthy family’s Beverly Hills mansion in 1989.
The wives of Erik and Lyle Menendez started their relationships with the convicted killers by reaching out to them via letters to the California jails where the brothers were held after their infamous murder trials.
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Erik and Lyle, respectively 18 and 21 at the time, unleashed gunfire on their parents, Kitty and Jose Menendez, at point-blank range in their home on August 20, 1989.
During their trials for the killings, the brothers claimed the shootings were in self-defense following years of abuse, while prosecutors believed the siblings were motivated by greed for their parents’ wealth.
The brothers’ trials were televised on CourtTV, bringing national attention to the murders and sparking admirers of the good-looking duo to write letters of encouragement to the pair during the case.
After the highly publicized trials, both of the brothers were found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison – but it didn’t stop their love lives from taking off.
Lyle was the first of the pair to have a relationship from prison after Anna Eriksson, a model, wrote to him during the first trial, which ended in a mistrial.
Eriksson, a former salon receptionist, saw Lyle on TV in 1993 and decided to write him a letter telling him to “hang tough,” she told People in 1996.
“I was watching the lawyers thanking people for all these letters of support Erik got. I thought to myself, ‘What about Lyle?’” Eriksson said.
Lyle responded, thanking her for her support, and the correspondence continued. The relationship became serious enough that Eriksson left her home in Colorado and moved to Los Angeles to be closer to Lyle in 1994.
The pair married over the phone on July 2, 1996 – the day that the brothers were sentenced to life in prison. The remote wedding was witnessed by Erik’s attorney Leslie Abramson and the brothers’ aunt.
The wedding was later disputed as Lyle’s jailers said the marriage wasn’t valid because it happened over the phone.
“We did not recognize the wedding,” California Department of Corrections spokesperson Christine May said in 1997, according to the Los Angeles Times.
“Our determination was that it was not a legal marriage,” she said.
The former lovebirds were originally meant to be married the day before the sentencing, but the judge prohibited a ceremony at the last minute – leaving Eriksson alone in the courthouse in her wedding dress.
PRISON DIVORCE
Eriksson and Lyle remained married for five years until a cheating scandal separated the two.
Timeline of the Menendez brothers case
Erik and Lyle Menendez are serving life sentences in prison after being found guilty of shooting their parents to death over 30 years ago.
August 20, 1989 – José and Kitty Menendez are shot to death
March 8, 1990 – Lyle is arrested for the murders
March 11, 1990 – Erik turns himself in
July 20, 1993 – Highly publicized trial begins and ends weeks later in a mistrial
October 11, 1995 – Second trial begins
March 20, 1996 – Menendez brothers are convicted of two counts of first-degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder
July 2, 1996 – Menendez brothers are sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole and sent to separate prisons
February 2018 – Lyle is transferred to the San Diego prison where Erik is held
April 4, 2018 – Erik and Lyle are reunited
May 2023 – Attorney representing the Menendez brothers files a habeas petition
September 19, 2024 – Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story comes out on Netflix
In 2001, Eriksson filed for divorce, claiming that Lyle was unfaithful to her because he exchanged letters with other women. She’s stayed out of the public eye since the divorce.
Lyle went on to start another relationship with another pen pal named Rebecca Sneed, a former magazine editor.
The Associated Press reported the pair knew each other for about 10 years before they tied the knot – meaning their relationship coincided with Lyle’s marriage to Eriksson.
Lyle and Sneed married at Mule Creek State Prison in Ione, California, in November 2003 and have stayed together since.
I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy.”
Lyle Menendez
After the marriage, Sneed became a defense attorney and moved to Sacramento. As of 2017, the pair enjoyed weekly visits at Mule Creek.
Lyle told People that their marriage is based on constant communication.
“Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life’s events,” Lyle said in 2017.
“We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy.
“It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”
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After the Menendez brothers lived in separate prisons for 20 years, the two were reunited when Lyle moved to the RJ Donovan Correctional Facility in San Diego, where Erik lives, in 2018.
It’s unclear if Sneed still lives in Sacramento, which is about a nine-hour drive from where Lyle is now held.
While Lyle has been married twice in prison, Erik has been committed to the same woman who became his pen pal at the beginning of the trials in 1993.
Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life.”
Erik Menendez
Tammi Saccoman, a mom to two daughters, originally wrote to Erik with the permission of her husband at the time.
DIVINE CORRESPONDENCE
Erik told People in 2005 that fate led him to open the first letter from his future wife during the trial.
“I saw Tammi’s letter and I felt something. I received thousands of letters, but I set this one aside. I got a feeling,” Erik said.
“And I wrote her back. Tammi and I continued to correspond. I enjoyed writing to her. It was a slow friendship.
“It was special to me because it was not associated with the trial and the media. Tammi was someone not in the craziness.”
When Saccoman’s husband died in 1996, she turned to Erik for comfort – and the pair’s relationship turned romantic.
The two met in person at the Folsom State Prison in August 1997, which Erik later said was the “most beautiful experience of [his] life.”
‘LIFE-SAVER’ LOVE
Erik and Saccoman got married at the Sacramento state prison on June 12, 1999, with a Twinkie serving as their wedding cake. Erik became a stepdad to Saccoman’s young daughter, Talia.
The convicted killer previously said that Saccoman’s relationship is a “life-saver.”
“Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life,” Erik told People in 2005.
“Having someone who loves you unconditionally, who you can be completely open with, is good for anybody – to know that this person loves me as I am.”
In an interview with NBC News in 2005, Saccoman said she believed her killer husband to be redeemable.
“I know his soul, and I do know what happened that night,” she said.
“And I do understand. I believe that within everybody put in certain circumstances, you will, you know, be able to kill somebody. I mean, I do believe that Erik is a very good person.”
NO CONJUGAL VISITS
While both of the brothers are married, neither of them have consummated their marriage due to a California law prohibiting inmates serving life sentences from having conjugal visits.
Saccoman previously said that the marriage doesn’t need sex to thrive.
“Not having sex in my life is difficult, but it’s not a problem for me,” Erik’s wife said.
“I have to be physically detached, and I’m emotionally attached to Erik.”
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Lyle echoed the same sentiment in an interview with ABC News in 2017.
“One thing I’ve learned is that your physical comfort is much less important than your connection with the people around you,” he told the outlet at the time.
“I’ve found I can have a healthy marriage that is complicated and built around conversation and finding creative ways to communicate, sharing, without all the props that are normally there in marriage in terms of going out to dinner and having as much intimate time together and so on.”
NETFLIX DRAMA
The Menendez brothers’ case is explored in Ryan Murphy’s new Netflix drama Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story.
Saccoman, who often relays messages from her husband to the public on her social media accounts, shared that Erik disapproved of the new series.
She posted Erik’s response to the show on X on September 19.
“I believed we had moved beyond the lies and ruinous character portrayals of Lyle, creating a caricature of Lyle rooted in horrible and blatant lies rampant in the show,” the statement began.
Erik Menendez’s full statement
Erik Menendez shared his response to Ryan Murphy’s Netflix series Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story through his wife, who posted Erik’s statement on X.
“I believed we had moved beyond the lies and ruinous character portrayals of Lyle, creating a caricature of Lyle rooted in horrible and blatant lies rampant in the show.
“I can only believe they were done so on purpose. It is with a heavy heart that I say, I believe Ryan Murphy cannot be this naive and inaccurate about the facts of our lives so as to do this without bad intent.”
“It is sad for me to know that Netflix’s dishonest portrayal of the tragedies surrounding our crime have taken the painful truths several steps backward — back through time to an era when the prosecution built a narrative on a belief system that males were not sexually abused, and that males experienced rape trauma differently than women.
“Those awful lies have been disrupted and exposed by countless brave victims over the last two decades who have broken through their personal shame and bravely spoken out.
“So now Murphy shapes his horrible narrative through vile and appalling character portrayals of Lyle and of me and disheartening slanger.
“Is the truth not enough? Let the truth stand as the truth. How demoralizing is it to know that one man with power can undermine decades of progress in shedding light on childhood trauma.
“Violence is never an answer, never a solution, and is always tragic. As such, I hope it is never forgotten that violence against a child creates a hundred horrendous and silent crime scenes darkly shadowed behind glitter and glamor and rarely exposed until tragedy penetrates everyone involved.
“To all those who have reached out and supported me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“I can only believe they were done so on purpose. It is with a heavy heart that I say, I believe Ryan Murphy cannot be this naive and inaccurate about the facts of our lives so as to do this without bad intent.”
Murphy responded to Erik’s criticism at a red carpet event on September 23.
“I know he hasn’t watched the show. So I find that curious,” Murphy told E! News at the series premiere of his new show Grotesquerie.
“I hope he does watch it. I think if he did watch it he would be incredibly proud of Cooper Koch who plays him,” he said.
Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story is available for streaming on Netflix now.
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