DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve fallen head over heels for an amazing woman, but we live hundreds of miles apart, and I can’t bear the thought of leaving my children behind if I move to be near her.
I’m 40 and divorced. I have three children, aged four, five, and seven, who live with their mother.
I’m on good terms with my ex, and I’m still heavily involved in our children’s lives. I pick them up from school three times a week and have them every other weekend. It’s rare I go more than a few days without seeing them.
My girlfriend is 27 and single, with no kids. We met online when she was in town for work, and on our first date, it was love at first sight.
We’ve now been together for eight months, and I would love to move near her, but that would mean only seeing my children once a month.
The last thing I want is to leave them, but I’m completely torn.
Am I being selfish even considering this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: This relationship is relatively new, so try not to make any rash decisions.
The fact is, while you are very much part of your kids’ lives now, moving away would mean you’d become a dad they only saw once in a while, and this is likely to affect them badly.
Don’t consider disrupting your children’s lives until you are sure this relationship is right.
Could your girlfriend move, as she has no children?
If things last, you will have plenty of time ahead to plan to live close by.
